Say Now (Their Command Series Book 3) Read online

  “Of course. You know we’ll never break your confidence but however much you don’t want us to talk about it, you do know that you have to tell him?” Alexis said gently.

  Shanna didn’t respond at first. It was a thought that had been hounding her since they’d confirmed that Logan had been the father of her child.

  “I thought about it. The reality is, he might not even remember me, least of all know who I am. I never gave him my name and it was dark in the gazebo. He never got a clear view of what I looked like. Telling him he fathered a child that I was forced to give up . . . I think he’s better off not knowing.”

  “I’m not going to debate the issue. Not at this stage, but if something should develop between you, just remember that it’s the kind of thing that’ll come back and bite you in the butt,” Alexis cautioned her with a brief hug. “And the baby? Have you ever—”

  “No. Don’t get me wrong. It’s something that’s always in the back of my mind. I want to find him. Then I remind myself that I wouldn’t be able to walk away from him. Not a second time. I know it won’t be fair to him to take him away from parents that he probably loves.”

  “This is one fucking conundrum, Shanna. I hope you realize that,” Alexis said after a short silence.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You and Logan. How are you going to act normally around him, knowing he is your phantom lover?”

  “Oh, that won’t be a problem, especially as he’s such a . . . chauvinistic, skirt-chasing and let’s not forget, Dominant, asshole,” Shanna gritted. “If there’s one thing I won’t stand for, it’s a man telling me when I can or cannot climax.”

  “Okay,” Rachel said slowly, gazing at the heat that shimmered in Shanna’s eyes. Her eyebrows rose as she noticed how Shanna’s nipples pushed against her sweater. “Are you cold, honey?”

  “Me? No, why do you ask?”

  “Well, if you’re not cold, it means just talking about that asshole, arouses you,” Rachel said with a smile, pointing at Shanna’s nipples that were standing taut and proud beneath the soft woolen top.

  Shanna glanced down. “Oh, fucking hell,” she groaned. She hugged her arms around herself.

  “Forget about that, Rachel. There’s something else you’re not telling us. Just where and when have you met our studmaster to know all that, or even better, how he felt?”

  Shanna briefly told them what had occurred the day before.

  “You disregarded his order and brought yourself off?” Rachel said wide-eyed.

  “Of course, I did. Why wouldn’t I? I don’t know him from a bar of soap—well, I don’t really,” she said defensively when Alexis snorted. “Besides, he has no hold over me. He’s not the boss of me and I’ll have an orgasm any time I feel like it.”

  “Oh, Shanna, you have no idea just what you’ve gotten yourself into,” Rachel intoned.

  “Oh, believe me, Rachel, I have a pretty good idea. He might fry my brain when he’s pressed against me, but I’ll not allow any man to control me outside of the bedroom. No siree. Not me. Not this woman.”

  “Hmm. I think the lady doth protest too much,” Alexis responded.

  “Oh lord. You of all people are quoting Shakespeare? What has Noah Harris done to you?” Shanna said in pretend horror.

  They laughed. Shanna felt their love filter into her soul and it set her mind at rest. It was the first time in twelve years that she’d spoken about her baby.

  “He’ll be twelve on Valentine’s day,” Shanna said softly. “That’s why I’m here. I couldn’t face another reminder of the day I lost him, alone.”

  “We’re here for you, Shanna. We’ll always be here for you. Don’t ever forget that.” Alexis hugged her. Rachel enveloped the two of them with her arms.

  “All for one and one for all,” she quoted the Three Musketeers’ motto.

  Chapter Four

  “Relax, Shanna,” Noah drawled. He was sitting on the sofa across from her with his arm around Alexis. They were having dinner at his lodge, which to Shanna, looked more like a luxury hotel than a home. She’d been overwhelmed by the size and beauty of the place. Noah looked at her with an amused twist to his lips. “We’re not about to pounce on you.”

  “At least not yet,” Mason teased her with a wicked twinkle in his eyes.

  “Pfft, don’t listen to him, Shanna. He is an expert in mind fucking. He’ll twist your panties in a knot without lifting a finger, if you’re not careful,” Rachel lilted.

  “Seems he’s not the only one with that skill,” Shanna muttered under her breath. Noah’s chuckle confirmed that he’d overheard her, tumbling her in a well of embarrassment that colored her cheeks a rosy red. She shifted in her seat. She’d been walking on eggshells the entire day, waiting for Logan to corner her again, but he’d been annoyingly absent.

  It aggravated her that he hadn’t bothered to look for her. If she was honest with herself, it confused her more. He was the exact opposite of the kind of men she usually pursued. Quiet, non-descript men, who were content with her taking the lead in the relationship. Inside and outside of the bedroom.

  Guh, imagine him in that role, Shanna, my dear.

  Yeah, not gonna happen.

  Which was exactly why she needed to get her mind straightened out and stay clear of Logan Chase—way clear.

  “Stop teasing her. She came here to relax and Rachel and I are going to ensure she does just that. She’s been working too hard. It’s time we teach her to have some fun again,” Alexis berated the two men.

  “Oh, never fear, luv, we’re going to make sure she has lots of fun,” Noah continued to tease.

  “Why don’t the two of you get the meat on the grill while we prepare the side dishes. I, for one, am starving.” Rachel kissed Mason lingeringly on his lips before she stood up and dragged Shanna from the chair.

  “I thought we were going to wait for Logan,” Mason said. His eyes followed the enticing sway of Rachel’s hips as she walked toward the kitchen.

  “Maybe that’ll will teach him to be on time in the future. He should realize the world doesn’t revolve around him,” Alexis snipped as she followed the two women into the kitchen.

  “Well, I guess we’ve gotten our marching orders, mate. Shall we?” Noah strolled through the sliding doors, with Mason on his heels.

  “Why do you look so surprised?” Rachel slanted a sideward glance at Shanna who was staring at them wide-eyed.

  “I’m just amazed that you have the guts to be so cheeky to them. I expected them to upend you and whip your asses red,” Shanna said in awe.

  “You have the wrong idea about our relationship, girlfriend,” Alexis said. She began to prepare the potatoes for the dish she was going to make.

  “I read up about Domination and submission. Doms don’t tolerate disrespect from their subs.”

  “They dominate us sexually, Shanna. None of them wants to turn us into meek women who say yes to their every command or never challenge them. It’s part of the attraction. For us all. We like to challenge and be challenged,” Rachel informed her while she deftly began to chop vegetables. Her knife skills made it seem so effortless that Shanna shook her head. She’d always admired Rachel in the kitchen and had loved to watch her cook when they were still living in L.A.

  “So, they only control you in the bedroom?”

  “Well, in a manner of speaking. Although, it’s not restricted to the bedroom. When it comes to anything sexual, they have the power. And, lemme tell you, girlfriend, we love it. I suppose because we both have such demanding jobs and always have to be in charge, it’s a relief to hand over control in an intimate scenario,” Alexis said.

  “So, they never punish you?”

  Alexis and Rachel laughed. “Oh, they do and they fucking love doing it too. It’s the one thing we learned very quickly. Never disobey an order from one of them. It never ends well—for us, at least,” Rachel said.

  “Only in the bedroom, though,” Shanna asked.

  “Not exa
ctly. Mind games are part of Domination and they are experts in that,” Alexis interjected.

  “Like Logan ordering me not to climax?”

  “Yep, that kind of thing.” Alexis glanced at Rachel who nodded at the unspoken question. “There’s something we’ve not told you about our relationships with Noah and Mason.”

  “You mean there’s more? Wait, I think I better sit down,” Shanna teased and hopped on top of the kitchen counter. With her legs swinging, she took a sip of her wine. “The floor is yours. I’m all ears!”

  “We’ve told you that we’ve had threesomes with our men but there’s a little more to it than that.” Alexis began cautiously and waited for Shanna to nod before she continued. “They warned us from the start that they will be sharing us between them.”

  Shanna’s eyes opened even wider. “Sharing? As in . . . swinging? You have sex with other couples?”

  “Not with other couples. Just us. It will always only be us and the three of them.”

  “Logan has been joining you? Even after you got engaged?” Shanna shifted on the counter, not entirely sure why the prospect of Logan continuing to have sex with her best friends bothered her. She didn’t know him, so whatever he’d done in his past had nothing to do with her.

  Except that it did now. She could feel the possessiveness surge to the surface. It shook her—the realization that she wanted Logan Chase for herself, even knowing that he was completely unsuitable.

  “Yes, and before you ask, no, we’re not together all the time but we do come together at least once or twice a month,” Rachel said. She arranged the vegetables in a pie dish and placed it in the oven.

  “Are you seriously telling me that you both,” Shanna pointed between them, “are in a swinging relationship? Even now, after being engaged?”

  “Yes,” Alexis said. “We both thought it would be awkward at first but they made sure we were comfortable and it’s been beyond anything we’d ever expected.”

  “Or experienced for that matter. I fucking love to be sandwiched between two strong men, while a third fucks my throat. It’s such a powerful feeling,” Rachel sighed with a faraway look in her eyes.

  “A powerful feeling? Are you daft woman? You’re at your most vulnerable in such a position,” Shanna said in an alarmed voice.

  “Ah, but that’s what being a submissive is all about. Even though we give them the power, we trust them not to abuse it. If we use our safeword, they stop, no questions asked,” Alexis explained.

  “And when they fuck you, Rachel watches and vice versa?”

  “Yes, and lemme tell you, it’s as hot as hell,” Rachel said dreamily.

  “Well, fuck the hell out of me, why dontcha?” Shanna puffed out in wonder.

  “Oh, I intend to, luv. Make no mistake about that. Believe me, you’ll be walking bowlegged for days afterward,” Logan drawled from the doorway.

  Shanna’s gaze got caught by his. Her cheeks burned from embarrassment as the vision of their last encounter flashed through her mind. She shifted uncomfortably under his direct stare but shook off the feeling of dread. She squared her shoulders and forced her muscles to relax.

  “Vanity is a flaw, Mr. Chase,” Shanna lilted and took a deep gulp from her wine glass. Her eyes grazed over his tall body, leaning negligently against the doorframe.

  Logan's eyes narrowed. "You disobeyed me," he said in a quiet, dangerous voice, noticing how relaxed her body was.

  Shanna didn’t miss the glance that Alexis and Rachel shared. She could feel their interest as they stared at them.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said and crossed her legs. She stared at him over the rim of her glass as she took another sip for Dutch courage. She continued in a cold voice, “Excuse me, Mr. Dom, but you’re not the boss of me, no man is. If I want to orgasm, no one will tell me otherwise, least of all you.”

  She regretted her outburst immediately, realizing that she’d just admitted to what he’d only been guessing at.

  “Is that so?” Logan glanced at Alexis and Rachel. “Leave,” he snapped.

  “But—”

  His eyes darkened and his voice deepened to a guttural growl. “Do I have to repeat myself?”

  “No, of course not,” Rachel said quickly. With a cautionary look at Shanna, they left the kitchen.

  Shanna watched them leave and then pinned Logan down with an acerbic glare. “What was that all about? Why are they obeying you?”

  “Because unlike you, they know the repercussions of disobeying a direct order.”

  She gaped at him. Her finger pointed at his chest. “You too? You punish them too, even though they’re engaged to Noah and Mason? Oh, hell no . . . hell no!”

  Logan hadn’t moved from where he was slumped against the doorway. His gaze ran over her, slowly. She managed to take his breath away every time he saw her. She looked delicious in an olive-green silk blouse, which had a deep surplice neckline. She’d paired it with skinny black jeans and high heel ankle boots.

  “I’m not sure if you’re disgusted, embarrassed or aroused.” He searched her gaze, smiling when she avoided his eyes. “Hmm, I thought you would be.” His eyes taunted her when he accurately read the answer on her face.

  “Don’t assume you know what I think or feel,” she cut in coldly.

  “No? Let’s see how accurate I am at reading your body language.”

  He strolled closer and flicked back her hair over her shoulder. He traced the pulsing vein in her throat with an errant finger, watching her closely.

  “You disobeyed my order.” It wasn’t a question, rather a judgment.

  “Your order, as you refer to it, might make my two friends quiver in their boots but it doesn't—what are you doing?" She shrieked when he gripped the two sides of her blouse and ripped it open. Her shocked gaze followed the tiny pearl button that fastened the top, as it rolled across the wooden floor.

  Her eyes moved back to him, spitting fire. “You didn’t just tear my top—no! Stop that," she shrieked when he deftly ripped her black shelf bra in two.

  “Disobeying me has consequences, Shanna. You will learn that soon enough. This is the perfect time for you to realize that before it becomes a problem.” He smiled dangerously and whipped off his belt.

  Shanna’s protest died in her throat when he tied the belt around her elbows behind her back. She was too shocked; firstly, by his actions and secondly, with the fact that she was battling with the heat of arousal that surged through her at the prospect of what was to come.

  The way he tied her, caused her breasts to jut upward invitingly. She swallowed when his eyes dropped to the generous mounds.

  “Fuck, they’re beautiful,” he said softly. He grazed his palms back and forth over the taut rosy peaks. His mouth curved upward in a satisfied grin when her nipples turned taut under the caress. “Responsive too.”

  Shanna shut her eyes, desperately squeezing her thighs together to stem the throbbing in her loins, but it was all for naught. Arousal flushed her pussy, resulting in a sweet musky smell that tantalized Logan’s nostrils.

  “Not to mention; you smell divine, luv. I find you quite intoxicating.”

  “You have to stop,” Shanna whispered. She floundered in the warring sensations that flooded her system. She tried to coax her mind to find a safe corner to hide from the emotions they elicited. It remained elusive—just out of reach―because of Logan’s erotic actions. He flicked his tongue into her ear, sucked on her bottom lip or pinched her nipples. He kept her senses heightened and in the enticing realm of eroticism.

  Her body quaked with arousal. She slowly began to cave in to it. Their eyes met. A deep rose-tinted flush spread over her chest under the heat of his gaze.

  He looked at her nipples that stood hard and proud under his ministrations. He brushed his fingers over the distended nubs.

  “Such a pity I have to punish them for your defiance.”

  Shanna’s breath hitched in her throat. “P-punish them? What are y
ou . . . ooww! Fucking hell!” she cried when Logan snapped the flat side of a wooden spoon he’d picked out of the utensils holder, against her nipples.

  “I warned you there would be consequences, Shanna, so don’t cry wolf now.”

  Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!

  “You can’t do this,” Shanna wailed, her eyes wide as saucers. She was struggling with the sensations that rushed from her stinging breasts to her loins, setting her afire on the inside. Her clit began to throb with the first two hits and increased to a demanding pulse with each strike that followed. The impact wasn’t exactly painful—at first—but with each one that followed, it increased.

  Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!

  “Stop, please,” Shanna sobbed but at the same time arched her back for the two following strikes. She was shocked at the intensity of arousal she was experiencing from the punishment.

  From having her nipples whipped, no less!

  “If you climax without my permission again, Shanna, this punishment will seem like child’s play. Is that clear?”

  Logan’s voice sounded guttural. She willed her loins to behave when he started caressing her stinging nipples with gentle touches. She tried to shake his hands off by turning on her side.

  “Shanna,” he warned with a chilled look.

  “You have no right! You can’t do this,” she protested in a breathless groan.

  “I can. And do you know why?”

  “Look, Logan Chase, I’m not—”

  “Because you and I are meant to be. Be still,” he barked when she tried to wiggle off the counter.

  “Let me go,” she protested. “And fucking untie me, you demented caveman!”

  “It seems you still haven’t learned your lesson.” He pressed his face into hers. “You can pretend that this isn’t happening between us, Shanna, but you know it’s the truth. You felt it as much as I did on the plane. I, for one, am not going to be a hypocrite and deny it.”

  He stepped back and picked her up from the counter to lower her to her feet. She leaned against him as her legs suddenly felt rubbery. Shanna buried her face against his throat. His fresh, woodsy smell captured all her senses. It was useless to try and deny that she was attracted to him. He was a compelling man and held her in his arms like she was a valuable gift. The painful sting of her nipples was forgotten in the wake of the rush of heat that filled her veins.